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The international man of mystery made a stop in Vegas over the weekend and it seems he’s teamed up with another double agent who goes by the name Strizzle, M. Strizzle. Their mission: to tackle the tall task of getting their whynatte on in Vegas… and possibly taking out Danny Gans.
It seems as tho these two went undercover at a Danny Gans show. For those of you who have been locked in your basement beheading your G.I. Joes and then replacing them on the heads of other action figures for the past 10 years, Danny Gans is the self proclaimed hottest act in Vegas. His boyhood dream was to play 3rd base for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and he managed to even get himself drafted by the Kansas City Royals. I’ll stop there. I’m pretty sure Jesse could get drafted by the Royals if they got one look at his 48 mph curveball. C’mon, who brags about that.
Whoever can guess the correct motive and method of completion for this Danny Gans mission will get a free whynatte shirt autographed by Jesse
Notice the man of mystery has a new whynatte shirt. C’mon it’s not very smooth to have your shirt so filthy you have to hold it away from your body to get it in the picture. Can someone check to see if Danny Gans is still alive?
Wow! Kettle One, Popov, Jager, and some other foreign substance. I think they call that combination the Black Flashlight
I’ll bet 100 whynattes Danny Gans never even saw it coming
2 whynattes, pounded not sipped
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Andy
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the foreign substance looks like tanqueray to me
Correct you are, Matt… Tanqueray it was. The fourth ingredient in the always deadly “Black Flashlight.”
On a side note, those were some very tall and scalding hot whynattes. But they paled in comparison to the ones we had a couple hours later at the Hard Rock casino, which contained such cold and rancid coffee that I very nearly regurgitated it all over the bar keep’s face.
Was Danny Gans really drafted by the Royals? I kind of want to punch that guy in the face, even though I really don’t know anything about him.
All this talk of Danny Gans has got me aching for some Chick Fil A.
Yes, Danny Gans was drafted by the Royals as well as the White Sox. He suffered a career ending injury then went on to entertainment.
Danny Gans kinda gets me in the mood for some 5 Guys. But then again so does everything else in the universe
Guess it makes it easier to assassinate someone when you don’t know anything about them
Our dossier on Danny Gans had surprisingly little info about him. All it said was, “Go to Mirage Hotel and Casino; consume multiple whynattes and Black Flashlight; lose significant amounts of money gambling.”
March 16 – 18 … strap it back on boys, we are going back.
VEGAS BABY!!!!
Who is Danny Gans. I’ve never heard of this man.. I do enjoy flipping the heads of the Cobras and Joes though. another one of my personal toy mutilation favorites involves lighting a ground bloom flower between the legs of a He-Man figure. It really melts the shit out of the torso. You can also use this method to permantly fuse barbie and ken in devious, physically amorphous, sexual acts. An m-80 surgically planted through the rubbery head of a He-Man and into the rippled chest cavity blows the limbs all over the yard. So awesome. Does Danny Gans have any action figures?
Hmm, that post by Orion kind of scares me, nice.
All I know was that Danny Gans was that blowhard wannabee Sinatra crooner who was trying to get a job while on that show about the guys trying to run a casino in Vegas. An assassination attempt would not be frowned upon, that’s for sure.
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