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So I’m sitting in my office, getting my daily fix of Greco-Roman pornography, and the following email and photos arrive in my inbox:
“Dear Whynatte,
Here are the much awaited pictures of the Jager Bombshell doing her first ever Whynatte. Popping her Whynatte cherry, if you will. Joining me on this momentous occasion is my former labmate. We are alcohol researchers, by the way. Have you ever had alcohol researchers do Whynattes before? Have you? The pics were taken in my apartment in Vancouver, BC, Canada… we planned to do them at the restaurant we went to for dinner, but they didn’t have lattes there. So we stopped at Starbucks on the way home as, not surprisingly, Jager Bombshell keeps a bottle of Jag in her kitchen.Let me know if you need any other info!
Beth =)
a.k.a. Dr. J. Bombshell.”Let us know if you need more info?
While you were extremely gracious to send us the following photos, Beth, there is in fact a little bit more info that we need:
1) So this woman is your “former labmate”? Can you elaborate on what caused her to abruptly leave the lab, traveling by helicopter, in August of 2006?
2) When you decided to paint your entire apartment yellow, what hallucinogenic drug(s) were you under the influence of?
3) I see that your former labmate is married. Does her husband know that she had a scorpion tattoo removed from her inner thigh prior to their engagement?
4) In 1903, scientists determined that Brontosaurus fossils were not from a new species, but from a dinosaur already discovered—the Apatosaurus.
Do you agree with this statement?
About The Author
jesse
Hello, I'm one of the co-founders of Whynatte, and currently handle the marketing, branding, and business development. I also handle the mail room, the black market primate side-operation, and most of the shipping and receiving. A little of this, a little of that. The fact that you're actually reading this indicates that you've lent us your time, and have an interest in Whynatte. Thank you. It's the gazillion people who've supported us along the way that make the difference. See you around....
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9 Responses and Counting...
That Apotosaurus discovery really rocked my world when I first heard about it.
Tell me about it, Matt. Talk about a dissapointment, huh? Kind of puts the kabash on that annual “breakdance the brontosaurus” party that you have.
You guys spoil all the fun.
I’m still in the brontosaurus camp. “Apatoburgers” doesn’t sound as appealing.
Dedication to the Whynatte creed (what is the Whynatte creed anyway?). All Whynatte Soldiers must pay respect to their brethren for this, as the Gods have looked kindly down on them for sacrificing thy latte and thy Jagr for the sake of said god. Go forth and drink your 100 Whynattes they Whynatte-god once said and spread thy word to the masses and spread thy inebriation…
Santa-natte
SantaNatte.
For christmas, I would like a 1.7 L bottle of Jagr, please. It will go well with the Urn you got me last year.
why have these lovely lady scientists not responded to your questions? Lovely lady scientists, do you not care to respond?
Oh, we care to respond. And our response is thus:
1) I am not at liberty to discuss this case, as it is still before the courts.
2) My attorney has advised me not to answer this question. Although I will point out that my *entire* apartment is not yellow. There is one door that is orange.
3) You will now be hearing from my former labmate’s attorney.
4) No, I don’t agree. That’s just what they *want* you to think.
So what you’re saying is that she actually did have a scorpion tattoo on her inner thigh?
Well played, Jesse.
Well played.