American Idol’s David Archuleta is a Martian
- April 8th, 2008
- Pictures
- 16 Comments ;
So don’t vote for him, because he is a 17 year old singing robot child, who most likely eats opossums coated in tabouleh when he is beamed up to his martian spaceship after each week’s show. I heard it from a source (not Michael Johns), and needless to say I have fairly credible sources (not Michael Johns) at American Idol. Sure, he’s got a good voice, but the kid is a martian, and this isn’t Zoltron Idol.
May we firmly suggest that you give the ever respectable Michael Johns a serious look tonight. Sure, he wears a Whynatte shirt on the broadcast, but he’s more than just a pretty face in a 100% organic shirt. He’s basically a rock star; a predatory singing pterodactyl in a sky full of swallows:
Here’s Michael’s most recent performance:
Leave Your Response
Lillinator 04.17.08
A martian? Haha!
jesse 04.17.08
I have actually seen David Archuleta in person, and I can say for a fact that the little fella actually looked comfortable on that spaceship looking stage that they have at American Idol. He looked like he was sitting in his living room, singing by the fireplace. I’m not kidding. For any other musician, that crazy steel and grey stage, with lasers shooting everywhere, colored lights everything, moving steel beams, it would be torture. For David Archuleta, it was like home.
Lillinator 04.18.08
Wow. That’s weird. But hey, it’s all about being comfortable on stage when you’re a singer, right? Man, if I was like that, I’d have a couple of records by now…unfortunately I’m painfully shy, and sweat and forget the lyrics when singing to just my Mum…I’m so lame. If I just had half the confidence as that kid…
Turtle nut 04.22.08
He is not a martian!!!!:mad::mad::mad:
jesse 04.22.08
Have you ever seen him perform in person? I have, and he may as well be plugged into a wall outlet.
jesse 04.22.08
Wake me up when he’s done singing.
Trevika 05.04.08
er..u just cant deal with the fact that david archuleta”s going to win american idol..and he’s just a kid,leave him alone he has a truely beuatiful voice…MJ is GONE so deal with THAT!!
jesse 05.04.08
David Archuleta winning American Idol bothers me about as much as I am bothered by the weather right now in Des Moines. In other words, I could not possibly care less.
DAVIDARCHULETALOVER 05.08.08
SHUT UP!!!!! DAVID ARCHULETA IS THE HOTTEST AND MOST AMAZING SINGER EVER!!! You’re the one that can’t perform Michael Johns… god!! I love David Archuleta!!!!! So stop hating on him!
jesse 05.08.08
I never said David wasn’t a good singer. I just said that he’s a singing martian.
DAVIDARCHULETALOVER 05.08.08
And the difference is…
jesse 05.09.08
This isn’t martian idol
Dee 05.19.08
David Archuleta is not a martian . He is a Sexy human being . :]
He’s also an amazing singer , and i made a 150 dollar bet that he would win . :]
jesse 05.19.08
What does the $150 pay if he wins?
jesse 05.21.08
I’ll pay you $150 to wash my bmw
tom 05.23.08
Looks like someone lost 150 dollars betting on American Idol. I’d like to meet that person so I could take a wet sweaty sock and smack him across his face like Goran Ivanisevic backhanding a tennis ball.