While growing up, there was always that family that was just so cool that the envy was painful. The kids could roam freely through the night, their mom was always making some sort of edgy casserole, and when their dad wasn’t busy hunting with a crossbow, he was always bringing home something cool like a live cobra or uncut mescaline.

My family, on the other hand, mandated a strict regimen of curfews and carob, with the occasional trip to the orthodontist. Every now and then my dad would tell us stories about his moustache, but never would let my brothers or I touch it.

There isn’t much that needs to be said about the following video, aside from the fact that somehow they landed James Earl Jones as the narrator. This is what the cool families do at their family reunions: Have a blast, drink Whynattes, and probably shoot lasers at things afterwards: