Like a fig tree crawling with spider monkeys that will eventually no longer bear fig, so to does the inventory of Whynatte decrease over time. Part of running the Whynatte company involves timing the proverbial decrease in figs with the procurement of a fresh fig laden tree. It’s called inventory management, and whether you’re running lattes, stolen cars, or guns, it’s an important component of any successful business.

So, how does the Whynatte actually make into the can? Good question.

After we grind up the goat hoofs into a fine powder, we add in the milk, coffee, and all of the other premium ingredients. Before the Whynatte makes it into the can, we pull samples from the enormous bison skulls that hold the Whynatte as it ages. If the samples pass muster, the Whynatte cans are filled, capped, and sent through a large wall of rabbi controlled lasers.

Here is what the Whynatte looks like before it’s canned: