It’s safe to say that someone must have offered up some goats for sacrifice to the gods of local music, because anyone wishing for a pair of amazing shows is about to have their prayers answered. I’m going to combine these two events into one post, partially out of laziness, but primarily out of the fact that they’re both at the Star Bar, and both offensively fantastic.

Batting leadoff on Thursday 1/26: 4th Ward Heroes Presents Vonnegutt w/ Bosco and Killer the Savage, and sponsored by some black market latte brokers called Whynatte. As you know, I’ve been blowing my shofar over Vonnegutt for a good 3 years, and I’m happy to say that they’ve steadily continued their journey towards worldwide notoriety. These kids have been marinading on a new album like Kevin Rathbun marinades a ribeye, and once the album drops you won’t be able to open O Magazine without seeing them hobnobbing with foreign delegates and such. May as well see these guys now before they’re playing on Letterman. Oh wait, they already played Letterman.

The flyer has all the sordid details, so no need to rehashbrown it. There will be Whynatte drink specials, a solid sampling of skinny girls from the suburbs, and a packed house enjoying the show.

Batting cleanup is the highly touted SMKA 4-year anniversary party. SMKA has done for local music what Sarah Palin did for crazy; They’ve taken it to the next level and pushed the boundaries beyond what anyone thought was possible. These guys get more coverage from Creative Loafing than Whynatte gets from Latte Digest, and it’s well deserved. If you’ve never been to an SMKA / Whynatte event, I recommend wearing as much suede as possible, having a proper stretch beforehand, and having absolutely nothing planned for the following 72 hours.

Per every other SMKA show I’ve ever been a part of, countless local acts show up to perform, and their anniversary party should bring out a who’s who of the finest and meatiest local cuts. The lineup as posted is already something special, but don’t be surprised if the list of performers continues to blossom. Needless to say, the Whynatte is going to flow harder than your grandma trying to ride a zebra bareback.

If you had to choose between one of these two events, I’d have to recommend that you choose them both.