Batting leadoff on Thursday 1/26: 4th Ward Heroes Presents Vonnegutt w/ Bosco and Killer the Savage, and sponsored by some black market latte brokers called Whynatte. As you know, I’ve been blowing my shofar over Vonnegutt for a good 3 years, and I’m happy to say that they’ve steadily continued their journey towards worldwide notoriety. These kids have been marinading on a new album like Kevin Rathbun marinades a ribeye, and once the album drops you won’t be able to open O Magazine without seeing them hobnobbing with foreign delegates and such. May as well see these guys now before they’re playing on Letterman. Oh wait, they already played Letterman.

The flyer has all the sordid details, so no need to rehashbrown it. There will be Whynatte drink specials, a solid sampling of skinny girls from the suburbs, and a packed house enjoying the show.

Batting cleanup is the highly touted SMKA 4-year anniversary party. SMKA has done for local music what Sarah Palin did for crazy; They’ve taken it to the next level and pushed the boundaries beyond what anyone thought was possible. These guys get more coverage from Creative Loafing than Whynatte gets from Latte Digest, and it’s well deserved. If you’ve never been to an SMKA / Whynatte event, I recommend wearing as much suede as possible, having a proper stretch beforehand, and having absolutely nothing planned for the following 72 hours.

Per every other SMKA show I’ve ever been a part of, countless local acts show up to perform, and their anniversary party should bring out a who’s who of the finest and meatiest local cuts. The lineup as posted is already something special, but don’t be surprised if the list of performers continues to blossom. Needless to say, the Whynatte is going to flow harder than your grandma trying to ride a zebra bareback.

If you had to choose between one of these two events, I’d have to recommend that you choose them both.

So we go 3 years without sponsoring a facial hair competition, and now we will have sponsored two in the past month. I told you about a month ago, on this very blog, that 2012 was going to be a big year for facial hair, and I wasn’t kidding. Mustache contests are the new black. I can totally get behind this new trend – I stay about at cleanly shaven as a full grown yak.

This Friday night, aka tomorrow, aka December 22nd, Whynatte’s involved in Slapsmas 2011 at Diesel in Virginia Highland. What’s “Slapmas” you might ask? You know what, I’m not really sure, but I do know that it’s going to be a really fun time, and that you’re encouraged to pimp slap your fellow customers as a sign of endearment. I also know that there’s going to be a mustache competition, which seems like good wholesome fun for the entire family. All I know, is that the last time I went to Diesel for a holiday party (Thanksgiving) I said I was stopping by for a drink, ended up having 20, was behind the bar mixing up my own shots (condoned by equally sauced bartender), and strolled out of Diesel with the board game Candy Land (I’ll bring that back to you guys tomorrow, promise).

This wouldn’t be a post on Whynatte.com without some disclaimers, words of general advice, and fine print, so here it is:

- If you have a mustache you get a free Whynatte shot.
- If you have a can of food to donate, you also get a free shot.
- If you don’t have a mustache, and don’t have a can, you’re a little girly man, and you will pay for shots.
- I will personally buy Whynatte shots for girls with mustaches.
- DJ’s will play music that you can sing to and dance poorly to.
- Arrive early and stay late.
- Diesel is located at 870 North Highland Ave.

Here’s what the world needs: More beard festivals and competitions. Also, I’d like to think that I’m pretty keen on emerging trends, and I can say without a doubt that beards usage is on the rise. No doubt 2012 promises to be a big year for the beard industry. so if you’re reading this at home, I’d be buying beard stocks right now.

Which is the perfect segway to the Battle of the Beards party that Whynatte is co-presenting this Saturday night (December 3rd) at the North Highland Ballroom. We’ll be there fueling the crowd with Whynatte shots (see: specials, drinks), and there will be food trucks and live music as well. Even better, The Battle Of The Beards will be donating a portion of the proceeds to a great organization called Mustaches for Kids, that sends money to CURE Childhood Cancer aka cancer fighting beards.

There will be a formal awards show, with prizes for the James Beard award for Best Beard, a Best Stache category, as well as a few others. It should get mildly weird, but weird in a good way. It’s definitely going to be fun.

So, check out the official Battle of the Beards website (click the link) and get your beard down to the North Highland Ballroom this Saturday.

I finally got a little time away from polishing my dreidel to attend to some important holiday business. The holidays are near, and we’re already getting into the holiday spirit with a pair of limited edition Whynatte holiday shirts.

Wondering what to get that special Hebrew in your life? Well, wonder no more, Whynatte’s got you covered with the limited edition Hanukkah shirt. Maybe you’re trying to find that final stocking stuff for a loved one? Why not top the stocking off with a buttery soft Whynatte Xmas shirt? Whynatte?

Preorder is live and in effect, but make sure you get your order in by November 25th! Shirts will ship out the first week of December!

Visit the Whynatte store to place your order, by clicking HERE.

Say hello to the Mother Fluffer, the latest Whynatte shot to hit the socialite dairy scene. The Mother Fluffer is a luxurious combination of Whynatte Latte and Pinnacle Marshmallow vodka, and is starting to pop up at fine establishments throughout the city. Personally, I’ve seen the Pinnacle Marshmallow at a number of bars, and at the majority of liquor stores.

The name Mother Fluffer came from a naming contest we ran on Facebook. The brainchild of the girls at Mixtape Atlanta, the Mother Fluffer won a hard fought victory, receiving the most votes from the public.

We made the poster an homage to not only drinking Whynatte and Marshmallow vodka, but also to a handful of Atlanta brands that inspire us (not an all inclusive list, btw).

You can pick up an 18×24″ print in the Whynatte store. Click HERE.

This is going down tomorrow night at Midway Pub in East Atlanta. Come celebrate the album’s release with Dean and Ryan. There will be Whynatte drink specials, loads of giveaways, and a really good time:

Dean teamed up with his main hombre Ryan Potesta for Magnets and Ghosts, and these guys are what we like to call professional musicians.  Dean’s played with a little band called Collective Soul for the past 18 years, living life like a bedouin. In the meantime, he made 4 platinum albums, recorded seven #1 hits, learned how to crochet, and was inducted into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame.

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Dean for a while, since he’s from Atlanta, and he’s been a big supporter of everything we’re trying to do with Whynatte.  A few years back I found myself in LA, and called Dean because he was holed up in a hotel not far from where I was staying.  What started as us grabbing a quick drink, turned into 4 days of complete and utter fogginess.  I think at one point we actually went to one of the final rounds of American Idol, but I’m not sure.  We were faded like old quilts. and tore it up like 17 year olds with our parent’s volvos on spring break in Panama City. The culmination were these old school hot Whynattes poolside at the Roosevelt Hotel:

It was a glorious and exhausting few days.

Dean’s also made a few notable appearances on the Whynatte blog, having been featured in such blog posts as Heaven Let Your Latte Shine Down and Collective Soulatte.  He’s been helping us get the word out about Whynatte for quite a while, and we’re looking forward to celebrating with him tomorrow.

This weekend we’re hitting you with a two-pronged dairy attack, getting you good and saucy on Friday night, and then following it up with a daytime block party on Saturday. We’ll also be selling spare livers from our warehouse later this afternoon, in case you want to stock up for the weekend ahead.

Kicking the weekend off, we’re throwing a party in The Basement, which is underneath the Graveyard in East ATL. Friday night will be chock full of good local music and Whynatte shots, and the more you can make your costume resemble you without clothes on, the better. For more information, or to RSVP, check out the Facebook invite for the party.

Here’s the poster, in case you want to print it off as a reminder of the best night of your life:

After stumbling out of the Graveyard on Saturday morning, head home for a quick holy water rinse, and then over to Big Tex Cantina for their first annual Fall Block Party. Presented by Big Tex, Whynatte, 680 the Fan, and Shiner Bock, we’re going to close down the street next to Big Tex and occupy Decatur. We’ll have Subaru street races, a skills challenge hosted by the Agnes Scott football team, tons of prizes, Whynattes out the wazoo, and plentiful grub from Big Tex to ease the pains from the night before.

The Georgia vs. Florida game will be televised on massive screens throughout the event, and we’ll have special “viewing cages” set up in the basement of Big Tex for all of the Florida fans. The game starts at 3:30pm!

The block party goes from 1-10pm, and is located on the street adjacent to Bix Tex at 308 W. Ponce de Leon Ave. And, if you act now, we’ll throw in a free set of steak knives, all you have to do is pay shipping and handling.

When you think about “the nest,” the image that probably comes to mind is a place of refuge made of twigs, playing home to some sort of winged predatory beast. Well, you’re partially right.

Indeed is many things, including a fun loving new bar and restaurant in Atlanta that sells the hell out Whynatte. They also make these kobe beef meatballs that I want to fill the back of a Pontiak Aztek with and drive to Juarez in. I’ll also grab our old college intern Zee, who’s now an owner of the Nest, and put him with the kobe meatballs in the Aztek. Then, when I get to Juarez, I’m going to trade half of the meatballs and Zee for carne asada tacos, and then drive it all back to Atlanta and start a meatball and taco food truck in East Atlanta. Now that’s some hipster shit.

The Nest is a great little joint to spend happy hour at, which got us to thinking that we should spend happy hour there on Thursday. Which is exactly what we’re going to do. Come join us each and every Thursday from 5:30-7:30pm, for 2 happy hours of Whynatte drinks, cold beers, and other working stiffs looking for an escape through alcohol. Just kidding, it will be mostly South American models.

Anyway, the details are on the flyer above. Awesome Thursday drink specials and good times. See you there.